“Even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise.”
Last week was probably one of the worst weeks ever for me mentally. Thursday things kind of blew up in RL, I crumbled, it felt like it would never end and I just wanted all the pain, emotionally & physically, to stop. I was exhausted and hit my breaking point! I was trying to find some little piece of light but everywhere I looked there was nothing but cold emptiness, a blank void of darkness, and I never felt so lost.
I knew Monday I had an appointment for a virtual visit with a nurse that was going to do an assessment and get me going with a Psychologist so all I had to do was get through the weekend.
When I woke up on Sunday I was still down but for the first time in weeks my head was clear, there was no chaos, noise, nothing but silence and I felt a bit more at peace. I stayed on guard for most of Sunday because I had been having these major highs and lows but by the end of Sunday, I could say, today’s been a good day. \o/
Monday morning arrived and the calm was still there so I went on to get ready for my appointment. I spoke with a nurse for my evaluation, answering all kinds of questions about how I was raised, medical history, etc. One the assessment was completed she put m in contact with a Psychologist to work with and I’ll be starting the long road of therapy.
Therapy in the past hasn’t gone well for the simple fact that they always tried to blame my parents. I have no blame or anger at them whatsoever, they did the best they good with a child with a bad heart but that was a few years ago and its time I stick it out and accept that yes, they did the best they could but it doesn’t mean some of what they did may have crippled me from being able to deal with certain situations.
I’m doing better but I know there’s still a long way to go and a lot of work to do but lucky for me I’m stubborn, patient, and determined.
This also means less of these kinds of posts, which I know most will be happy to hear. Who wants to read a bunch of blah, blah when you want to know about all the fun and exciting things going on in Second Life so I’ll be getting back to more of that.
My main goal is to get better, do better and be better, there’ll be some stumbling, but I’ll get there.
TRUTH / Montana / With Hat
OSMIA – Stella.Cropped Top – M – Clay @ Collabor88
OSMIA – Stella.Shirt – M – Tartan Orange @ Collabor88
OSMIA – Stella.Denim Shorts – M – Dark Blue
Photo taken at Free Spirit Farms – Need Group To Rez